Christmas Eve Haiku

Christmas Eve Today

Beware of Licorice Fights

Barber Josh and Pete

The Bold/Broad/Grand Gesture

Before I rant here are a few items of business:

• Danielle, I will at some point do the post about being tagged



• Jennifer this is what I was talking about a few days agohttp://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=steroidsExc&num=21



• I'm excited to be heading home this weekend. I have received Christmas Cards from the Stanworths and Walburgers. I told my dad that I would write a Christmas letter. We'll see.



• In heavy rotation is my Christmas Playlist on my iPod is Last Christmas by Wham, Happy X-Mas by John Lennon, Santa Baby by Rev Run and I just bought All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carrey. I guess I forgot how much I love Christmas Music.
• Today is James Warren Marquardson's 27th Birthday. Happy Birthday to my Freshman year roommate, my good friend, and Father to be!

And now on to my thoughts.

If you haven't seen the movie there are spoilers here.

Last night I watched the movie Love Actually for the first time. I had caught a snippet of it when I was home in California over the summer and liked what I saw. Thanks to a Clean Flix copy I got to watch the heart warming Christmas movie. The very brief summary is that it tells an intertwined story about the different types of love. There is platonic love, unrequited love, sorrowful love, new love, familial love, puppy love and probably a few others that I am forgetting to mention. It had an excellent sound track and it was uplifting. But for some reason it got me thinking about the idea of the what I'll call the grand gesture. Love Actually is full of this phenomenon where one party expresses their affection in a huge way.

Chuck Klosterman wrote about how all girls love Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack's Character from Say Anything). He is famous for holding the Boom Box over his head one of the most memorable Grand Gestures. Anyway in the movie one guy learns Portuguese because he falls in love with a woman who does not speak English, so at the drop of a hat on Christmas Eve he decides he will fly to France to see her (She lives there not Portugal) and propose. A man who is in love with his best friend's wife in an effort of full disclosure admits his feelings, and a little boy goes head to head with the British version of the TSA. In these instances they make this amazing gesture to show how much they care. This gesture usually involves two things, extraordinary effort and courage.

So I wonder a few things. Is it expected? Does this really work? Is it necessary? Should I have made the Grand Gesture myself?

So here we have a generation of people who have been embedded with messages that if we just speak up, or we race to the airport and “lay it on the line” that the “one who got away” will become the “one who came back” or the “if they only knew” will become “it was meant to be” and finally “if only you saw me differently” would become “you were right there the whole time”. Surely at some point this must have happened right? But wouldn’t it be the exception to the rule?

If a meaningful relationship is meant to be, then chances are this kind of gesture wouldn't be necessary. One might be willing to do it anyway because relationships are (and rightfully should be) one of the things we are truly passionate about. Yes, I would get on a plane to tell you how I really felt ( I actually sort of did that once it was not so dramatic as a typical movie, and the results were not as positive as one would expect from the movies) if I believed that was what you needed. I think that it helps our own self outwardly manifest how strongly we feel. In other words, "I can not fully tell you what you mean to me and the only way that you can understand just how much that is, is for me to do (INSERT GRAND GESTURE HERE)." Certainly one does not want to be pressured into making a Grand Gesture.

Now in the same essay Chuck Klosterman talks about the song "More Than Words" by Extreme. I read this chapter for the first time like three years ago and I remember it making a big impression on me but not really understanding why. I actually sent a paragraph to someone and she didn't get it. As I was running an errand this morning that essay and it's relationship to my thoughts came back to me in force. Here are the lyrics:

Saying I love you

Is not the words I want to hear from you

Its not that I want you

Not to say, but if you only knew

How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do to make it real

Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me

Cos I'd already know

Nuno and Gary (the guys who wrote the song) are making the point that being in love is more than saying I love you , and that showing you love someone is what is really important not saying it. If a relationship is “right” then you shouldn’t have to do these crazy things. Am I right? If it’s “right” you should absolutely be willing to and prepared to make a Grand Gesture but it in most cases wouldn’t be necessary. In reality the people in "Love Actually" in most every case would not need to fly to France, go behind their best friend’s back, or disrupt diplomatic relations with a Super Power. Instead their significant other would “already know” from the little things. And this doesn't even begin to address the issue if one of these Grand Gestures backfires. You risk anything from a bit of embarrassment and humbling to the dreaded label of "creepy" which is pretty which is one of the worst one can be labeled with.

So maybe it shouldn't be necessary but for me I still can't help but feel like words, and opening the door, or being a gentleman, or being thoughtful and all that sort of thing is enough. I do those things because that is the person I am but do I need to do more than that? You can't help but wonder if I did make that extraordinary effort would that be the tipping point? Or if the "right" relationship should take that sort of effort at all because you would hope that it would just happen.

The truth is I have no idea. I am very interested to hear your perspectives on this. Leave a comment or talk to me so we can figure it.*

-Peter

I completely understand if this makes absolutely no sense to you. I found it a bit difficult to formulate coherently.

What Mary Wants...Mary Gets (Monday Haiku)

Niner Victory

No Snow Globe Makes Peter Sad

Boy It's Cold Outside

Loverboy said it Best

Everybody's working for the weekend

Everybody wants a little romance

Everybody's goin' off the deep end

Everybody needs a second chance, oh

You want a piece of my heart

You better start from start

You wanna be in the show

Come on baby lets go

Ever since I did my State of Peter I feel a little bit like I used a lot of my material. Sure I could blog about thanksgiving and I promised Kaylyn I would but I haven't been to motivated to do so. I wanted to mention a few things that have happened or that I've been thinking about.

• Some people wondered why I put a picture of the Million Dollar Man. Monday was the 15th anniversary of Monday Night Raw. It reminded me of five years ago when Jordan, Brett, Matt and I went across the street to watch the 10th anniversary. That night was stupid and boring but Monday's show was pretty funny. Dan was really impressed (more like amused by Ted Dibiase) and we love telling people (especially Kat) that "Everyone has a price.
• Occasionally you will tell a joke with such perfect timing that it is like a comedic Grand Slam. I felt I did that last night when I told the Joe Montana joke at dinner.
• B-Rock, Don, and my dad have all said no thank you for a road trip up to the BYU game. I'm hoping David Dickinson comes through. If any wants to go let me know.
• Speaking of five years ago, I ran into Amanda Haslam at church on Sunday. She was visiting from CA. Amanda remembers me from the old days. We got to chat a bit. I wonder if I am the same as I was five years ago.
• Wally Joyner was in the Mitchell report. I knew he would be. I am proud that Wally was one of the few people who admitted he'd made a mistake and was a man about it. Props to my favorite baseball player of all time. I was glad that Tim Salmon and Vlad Guerrero were not in there.
• Do you ever have those moments where you just can't help yourself. The roommates and I were heading to lunch on Saturday when we saw two people in a Volvo. They were a couple probably in college. They were "being familiar" with one another while waiting for a traffic light. So what do I do. Naturally I honk at them. The driver acknowledged this with his middle finger. It was fantastic. I should probably stop doing stuff like this.
• Danielle tagged me. I will very thoughtfully address this next week.
• Have a tolerance free Friday!

-Peter

Everyone Has a Price

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just so you know

Some of you will find the following charts extremely funny. Some of you will not get this at all. My friend David has a knack for funny things on the internet and these were three that really made me laugh.

This is information that as a Latter day Saint you might find informative because of our general unfamiliarity with alcohol consumption.

I'd like to thank Clint Salo for helping this chart make sense to me. I believe Emily Cardoza really liked this song too. I sent this to Jordan and he never responded back about it. Jordan is this funny to you?We did a Lip Synch contest my Junior Year of High School. It was awesome. This was huge at the time. According to this chart Warren Buffett and Bill Gates have a lot of problems at least one would think.

Pearl Harbor's Day Eve

Scott, Dallin, Peter, Jim, Dan, Shane

Can you believe that this marks the 8th anniversary since the inception of Pearl Harbor's Day Eve. In all honesty I'm not sure how Jim and I came up with this idea. Likely in between downloading "Bring it All to Me" by Blaque feat. JC Chasez and "Get Along by Rafael Saddiq" off of Napster we recognized that it was the day before Pearl Harbour Day.

Jim and I sprung into action, and started attacking people. Realizing that we had come upon something that was really fun (and looking back now slightly bad taste) we decided to publicize the event. I believe we called everyone in our freshman ward and left a message on their phones directing them to the Website Jim had created about our floor. At the time we though this website was amazing. We had pictures of us attacking people from behind. I have no idea if those pictures till exist. There was a really good picture of Jim hitting me in the head with a Golf Club as a I read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

Even the girls in the ward got into the spirit of things and created a skit about Pearl Harbor Day Eve. We were thrilled by it and in honor of that we snuck up on them on their way back to Hinckley Hall and doused them with water.

I think this was a microcosm of how fun my freshman year was. We did a lot of stupid random things that we thought were so funny at the time. We downloaded tons of music from Napster, played football on the baseball field and otherwise dominated the Cannon Center. I think all of the guys in the picture above would agree.

Response to Part I

I was pleased that my first post generated six comments. I was speaking on the phone to my buddy Jeff yesterday and I told him that I know longer write this blog exclusively for myself. So if you want to comment you should because I love comments.

Charles Clifford Hallberg of course that is you and you should feel privileged to be mentioned.

Dan as I mentioned last night my sister Jenn once sat next to Coach Cleveland at a BYU Alumni fireside.

Jordan consider this me giving you that salute that Doug gives to Jackie about 1,000 times during the game.

Jim you better believe I have been thinking about PHDE. Do you still have those pics?

KP and MJ thank you for being such sweeties.

Love 'em

The newest edition-Kitty Kate

Uncledom
First off I know that Uncledom is not a word but my title of Uncle Peter is the one I am most proud of. It was so fun to spend so much time with the little ones this year. Haydan decided that she was no longer afraid to talk on the phone, Bronte continues to be little Miss Social. Savannah reminded me that “Naughty Business” is not allowed, Gavin struggles with his pronunciation of the word truck, and Kate stole all of our hearts with her arrival in March. They absolutely drive me crazy (I was ready to leave them all at Disneyland) but that are absolutely adorable and truly are the apple of my eye. I freely admit that hearing about other's little ones can be annoying at times but I freaking love these kids. I love being the "fun" uncle and take great pride in that.

Probably my favorite photo of 2007. I was really happy this day.

Pete Chat

In the year 2007 I did 89 posts including this one. August was my most prolific month and I started out the year very slowly. As best as I can estimate I think about 20 people regularly check the blog. I am never satisfied with my writing but realize that if I edited it until I was satisfied then nothing would ever get posted. I received the most comments for the post about my mom and was most pleased about post about the trip to the Angels game in Baltimore (Dan and Matt will attest to the awesomeness of that evening) and I really found my “voice” in my Palmyra post. I was livid about lame people who tell me to quiet down. My whole life I have hated that. I do not like being bossed around by my so called “peers”. If I want to use a megaphone at 11:00 pm guess what.?. I’m gonna do it. I used to be pretty good at Monday Haiku but lately I seem to forget to do it. Mary has always been good at reminding me about that. I would like to thank Mandy, Dan, Kaylyn, and Mary McMullen for being the most prolific commenters. Seth Nielsen deserves a special shout out for inspiring me to have a blog and. My sister Jennifer inspired me to write for others as well as myself. My sister Chrissi gets a public reprimand for her inability to blog or upload digital pictures to her computer. I hope you have been inspired to check out the books I read or the music I download and am interested in any suggestions you might have for running columns or additions I can make.

Why this picture? Because I am alone but still hot. Plus as my neighbors will tell you I love to be sans shirt

Dating
One of the reasons I wanted to do this TSOP was to rant about my dating life. It’s frustrating. I think over the last 12 months there have been about 10 girls I had interest in although my office mates/roommates/friends would probably put that number higher. I will give a prize to anyone who can name the 10 I wrote down or surprise me with girls I didn’t think of please email me peterdorsch12@gmail.com. My blog should be a place where I can just say exactly what I want but so as not to embarrass myself or anyone else I will write in vagaries. I am sick of girls who want to be just friends, I am sick of girls who don’t know what they want, I am sick of not being appreciated, I am sick of caring for those who don’t care about me anymore.

I tell my dad that I think that Washington DC girls aren’t super interested in relationships. That being said I do realize that there are some pretty specific things I look for and if those things aren’t apparent then I am pretty easy to dismiss it. I used to love the “game”, but now it seems pretty old, I’m sick of call screening and countless discussions about “what did that mean?” (actually I kind of like that although I am almost universally wrong in interpreting what gestures mean, I should probably assume that whatever I think was meant does not in fact mean that).

I have been shot down in a variety of ways this year some brutal, some subtle, and some where they just didn’t call back and that is BUSH LEAGUE. Sometimes dating in the Colonial pond is frustrating because your reputation is everything. I have tried over the last two years to avoid being “that guy”, you all know the one. He doesn’t get the hint. He calls a little too often and invades what Diana refers to as the “bubble.” It is in the realm of possibility that this has caused me to abandon ship or pull the rip cord or as we have been known to say lately “shut it down” prematurely I feel that it is the necessary step.

I know this is not limited to the East Coast as B-Rock and I discuss this on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes it probably is me. Maybe I am grating or annoying or she just isn’t feeling it but certainly it isn’t always me. I’ve tried the hard sell (see my post about my trip to Utah) and the soft cell (Tainted Love if you got that good for you) which hasn’t seemed to foster results either. Jennifer assures me that it shouldn’t be this difficult and I believe her. I’m not sure if I will actually change my methods but I might. My hopes for this year are that I find the beautiful girl with a great testimony and what I call “first lady potential”.

I guess we’ll see what happens. I am not totally jaded like Kami (j/k)and I know that sometimes it does work the evidence being that virtually all of my non Washington DC friends are married and some couples out here even get engaged (hooray Ryan and Kaylyn and Jeff and Veronica) so I'm still an optimist.

Conclusion
I have really enjoyed this State of Peter post. It was cathartic to get this off my chest. I thought I might add one more thing. I will answer any question you have about my life. So if you wonder anything and I can answer without hurting others feelings too much, post a question and I will answer it. Thanks for being great friends. I thoroughly enjoy doing this blog and am thrilled by your comments.

-The Champ

Part II Coming Soon

The State Of Peter- Part I

One Word Description-Unexpected


Since just before my birthday I have been thinking what I really need to do is have an inventory of my life. An in-depth look at what has gone on with me this year, how I am fairing and then a few rants and other things that I have been thinking about. I also plan on having a few choice pictures and maybe a Haiku.

The Year in a Blur

Wow what a year it’s been. It’s been quite the ride looking back. I picked today to do this post because it marks two years since I made my triumphant return to Washington DC. December 3, 2005 Dan Nelson picked me up at Dulles Airport. I had three bags, a paid internship, nowhere to live and an extremely broken heart. Here it is two years later. It could have been the best year of my life and in a lot of ways it was and yet without a doubt it was my worst and most tragic year. I laughed, I played, I cried, I got shot down, and I was validated. My teams won, and they lost, we added Kate and lost Mom.

My Mom

I went back to look at some of the old blog posts. I will never be called anything but an optimist. Although I don’t remember the exact day I do remember the exact moment that I found out about mom being sick. Chrissi had sent me pictures of her kids. There was one picture of Gavin in particular that made me laugh. Chocolate hand prints on Chrissi’s white couch. I laughed so hard. When she called I was all ready to tell her about how much I like them. Then she dropped the bomb. Mom had had a stroke. At first we thought she was going to get better. I flew out there to see her for myself and was so happy to see that she seemed ok. She was just really tired. As the months went by she would continue to get a little worse and then her condition would plateau. Just writing this is hard. Work sent me home for the month of August. Armed with a lap top and internet connection I was able to work from home and spend every day with her. I will never forget how cute she looked in her blue pajamas. We had so many special moments when it was just her and I at Southland (incidentally as good as the care was and how nice everyone was to her, they were really fantastic, I hate that place. In fact if I never hear those two words together it will be fine with me) We laughed a lot and she told me how excited she was for Thanksgiving. I asked her what kind of girl I should marry and she said “One who doesn’t talk too much” We watched the Judge shows she liked and Angel games. I really thought she was coming home when I left back to DC around Labor day. Do you know what it is like to find out your mother is dying? It’s awful, in fact awful doesn’t even begin to describe how bad it is. Picking out her burial plot, planning her funeral. It is agonizing. I can not begin to express how thankful I am for my Dad, my sisters, my brothers in law, and all of my family and friends who were so supportive during this time. I miss her so much. I miss her every day, especially lately. It hasn’t gotten easier really. But we Dorsch’s are tough so we just go on. I really miss her.

The 27 Swedish Babes I took on the tour of the Capitol

My Job

Before I left for my internship in 2004 I didn’t anticipate that it would change my life. I just thought it would be something fun and interesting to do. And yet here I am. I am not sure how many people go to work every morning and say they love their job. Luckily I can. After surviving another tour season as a Staff Assistant the powers that be saw fit to give me a promotion. The funny thing is I can’t remember exactly when it happened. I do however remember being beyond excited. Finally I had the word Legislative in my title (Legislative Correspondent). This meant news business cards but alas not a new desk despite the fact that I bought an Angels Bobble Head to put on it. All in good time I guess. I used to be the master at having celebrity sightings on the Hill. I have no idea how many letters that I have answered. Probably several thousand. No it isn’t glamorous but I enjoy it. I love my interns and am so proud to send them off to do great things. I enjoy working for a boss who is so dynamic and a legitimately good guy. I have fantastic co workers who are also my friends. It was fantastic taking 8th Graders from Granada (my middle school) on a Capitol Tour.

Got Clubs for Christmas

Me

I once told a girl that I wanted to be complex. I’m not sure why that is. It could be because of the fact that I am so simple. I like my teams, I like conservatism, I like having fun, and I like my family. I think most everything else kind of goes hand in hand with that. But I’m still lithe, I talk too much, I love to make people happy and laughing, think loyalty and keeping it real are of the utmost importance. I still can’t golf very well but I can hit it straighter and farther than went I got my clubs. I love my iPod, Man vs. Wild, and Facebook. I wish I had the number of books that I’ve read this year but I’m sure it is close to twenty. I bought a GMAT book and will at some point start studying for the test. Much to my sister’s chagrin I like my Affliction T-Shirt. I know where I want to be it’s just the journey there that is hard to figure out.

Angel Games

Sports

The thing I miss the most about Provo. No question about it…Intramural Flag Football. I have tried so hard to duplicate it out here and have had no luck. I’ve tried city league and Congressional League and no luck. The thing that comes closest is the pick up games we play on Saturday’s at the park. My teams are having different levels of success. I was pleased that the Angels won the American League West but disappointed by their performance during the playoffs. The Niners are terrible and with high expectations this year have been a real disappointment. And yes Dan we have a Ute Quaterback. And I hate it. He stinks. And then there is the Lake show. I went ahead and bought a Kobe Bryant 24 jersey. He’s awesome, and now he wants to be traded. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please Dr. Buss do not trade Kobe. Cave in to his demands, give him what he wants. Just don’t trade him. And then there are the BYU Cougars. Back to Back Mountain West Conference Football Champions and back to back last minute wins against the Utes. It’s a good time to be a Cougar. Over the last year I saw the Angels play almost ten times in person and lots of games on TV. I saw the Lakers play in Philly and a couple of Wizards game. I even went and saw Monday Night Raw which was awesome.

Can't Forget Su-Rec 2007

Friends

When I moved back in 2005, I had one friend. Dan (currently my roommate) two weeks ago I invited 33 people I consider good friends to my birthday lunch. I am indeed lucky to have such a good group of friends. I moved to a new place we affectionately called “The Melrose” back in April. As much as I loved the guys in 527 Buchanan I was excited to have my own room and have lots of fun neighbors living close by. It was definitely the right decision. I love inviting people over to watch BYU games or just to hang out. I love it went people just drop by and say hello.

Because I spent so much time in California this year I was glad that I got to see my old friends as well. They are for the most apart all married, having kids or buying houses. If it weren’t for my DC friends and the fact that are for the most part under the same circumstances as I am I probably wouldn’t be quite as up beat about this. It’s nice to have friends you can rely on. When my mom died I was glad that I could call Ryan. He did the dirty work and let all of my friends know what had happened, and the next day he and David Dickinson came and sat with me. It meant so much to me. When I saw Ryan, Josh, and Thomas at the funeral it gave me the boost that I needed. I even gave them a shout out. Sort of random I know.

Kyle, Shane, and Brett all came out to see me which was great. I love it when people come to visit out here. I gave Shane the hard sell on moving here but he opted for Chicago. Kyle is working on coming out.

It’s a little harder to see my college friends because they have managed to spread out pretty well. Thanks to technology and lots of blogging I have a fairly good grasp on what they are up to. So Jeff, Shane, Jim, Dan, Matt Scott, Dallin, Steve, and Chad thanks for keeping me updated on your lives.

Part II: Tomorrow Including: My travels, the Little ones, and a full manifesto on my dating life. Woo-Hoo!

Much is happening

My life sort of Makes Sense

Not too complex yet