I Hate To Break it To You

(Before we begin, I have to tell you a bit about this post. I noticed a trend a while back and wanted to write about it. Then before I could post one of my good friends cut her hair and I was like oh no she is going to think this is about her (don't worry it's not), but then I saw her picture and it wasn't nearly so short as I thought it would be. Believe it or not, it is not my intention to hurt feelings, only to point out things that I find interesting enough to blog about.)

 Sorry, much like being a QB in flag football (I'm playing on a ward team right now) maintaining a blog is harder than it looks, sometimes I don't feel super inspired or prompted to write about anything. In the old days of Pete Chat I would go off on these vitriolic rants usually having to do with my lack of relationship success. It may not have been healthy but misery makes for good content generation. Now as I have completed my first two months of wedded bliss I can no longer go to that well. I just haven't been inspired to rant lately. I needed some fuel and I got it.

Have you ever noticed that there are certain things on Facebook or Instagram that will get tons of likes? Engagements, baby announcements, paparazzi style pics of ward members making out in a parked cars and new jobs usually get and deserve many likes. You should like these seminal events in the lives of people who often times you have only virtual contact with. But there is a phenomenon that also exists and was recently brought to my attention once again. Before I get to the point of my post let me remind my readers of something I have been saying for  a long time. Guys like long hair. Guys do not like their girls to have boy haircuts. You can wear our sweasthirts, but not out haircuts. Now there are surely some guys who are the exception to this rule but the overwhelming amount of us want you to keep your hair long. I don't mean Enchanted long, and I'm not talking about Katie Holmes and Rihanna's A-line cut but unless you are Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta or Halle Berry you should leave the buzz cut and it's short haired clip cousins to the dudes.

Do you wonder why this works? Because she is Natalie Portman. You are not.

There are two things that have me wondering. Why do some girls cut all their hair off when they get married, and why do people go what I would consider way overboard complimenting them for that decision? I have noticed that when a girl gets what I would call a dramatic new short haircut, that other people will fall over each other to complement to recipient of the haircut, but I feel it is mostly lies. How do I know this? Because I have eyes and and they work. As someone who has received literally hundreds of haircuts in my life, and some that may be considered dramatic ( I have chosen a mohawk the last three summers), I know that a good haircut doesn't get the attention that a poor choice of haircut does.

There is a phenomena where for some strange reason a girl cuts most of her hair off and then other people start telling her how great it looks, but it's not true, they are lying. It isn't that it is a bad haircut, it just a terrible terrible choice of a haircut. But rather than doing the polite thing and just say nothing at all, the fake compliments start rolling in. Now my good friend (and former neighbor) McMary asked me what happens when people really do like it, and to that I say shenanigans. Because when someone gets a legitimately great haircut it does not garner nearly the response that some awful short hairstyle generates. I recognize that long hair takes some work, but you know what, a lot of the things we do take work, and we are rewarded for that hard work and effort.

There are a few possible explanations for this. Maybe people just have good souls, and they want to make others feel better about their bad but ultimately temporary choices. But I don't really think that it is the haircut that is generating the response. It's what the haircut represents. In some minds it is the bold decision. The "I'm not going to let my life be dictated by invented social conventions, I can cut my hair how I want (and if I have the guy locked up already that is just a coincidence)." And in a show of solidarity the compliments start rolling in, but I'm looking at the same haircut and I know it is a bad choice. You can't blame the stylist, they are simply accepting a commission and doing what they are asked.

As a newlywed I am somewhat fearful of this happening in my own home. I love Shannon's long hair. But luckily and importantly she loves it even more than I do. While I would love her just the same if she were to cut it to Bruce Willis length I'd prefer she kept it long. But I notice how many girls get married and then chop all their hair off. Why do this? If this is something you always wanted to do, why didn't you do this before you got married. I think it is pretty suspect. There is no corollary for men. It's not like guys get married and decide you know what, I'm going to go Tom Selleck and grow a moustache. The other half of the mystery is why people fall all over each other to compliment the new style?

I don't know, enlighten me.