It's Friday night and you are a fourth grader...of course you're going dancing

A little business to attend to.

It appears that my mystery ailment has subsided. I hadn't felt well in about ten days. Sore throat, no energy, and a very upset stomach. Because it wasn't debilitating I just kind of went on thinking it will pass. Finally on Thursday morning as I was metroing to work I started overheating on the metro and knew that if I didn't very quickly exit the metro my fellow passengers would know exactly what I had been eating over the last few days. I practiced my breathing and eventually got off the metro and found a nice private place for me to me be reminded of the contents of my stomach.

A trip to the doctor (she was cute and I thought I should set up my friend Scott with her) a blood test and mouth swab later I had still not been diagnosed or given any prescription, I had however been informed that I had lost ten pounds. I proceeded to spend the next two days in bed. The doctor told me that if they did find anything they would give me a call. No call. But I feel about a million times better, no more sore throat. I hate being sick.

I didn't do any birthday shout outs because frankly what can I say that hasn't already been said. But all of those wonderful people in my life who celebrated birthday's in August, I want you to know that you were remembered.

Football season has started, I listened to the BYU game and it's good to have the Cougs playing again although I would highly prefer they hold on the ball a little better.

Even without the castanets I know Josh and Jordan know who these fine people are.

So now that those things are out of the way you might be wondering what the meaning of the title of this posting means.

Today Andrea and I were eating cake. She pointed out that if I ever wanted to be a Congressman that I will have to stop "smacking" when I chew. I must admit that I wasn't aware that I did this but apparently I do. We talked about manners and I told her that when I was younger that not only did I go to Cotillion, I did it for four years along with all of my friends. She had never heard of Cotillion and I was more than happy to tell her all about it.

My first memory of Gollatz Cotillion was going with one of my parents to pick up Jennifer there. I remember there was a dignified older woman who commanded all of these junior high kids on how to dance, how to act all with the power of a pair of castanets.

What exactly is cotillion you might ask. Well it is etiquette and social grace training for young people. I haven't met anyone outside of Southern California who went to these classes but I want to assure you that this was not outside of the norm, Josh, Ryan, and Jordan can all attest that we did this but that our siblings did it as well.

I don't remember being nervous about going which is funny because I was and still am deathly afraid to talk to girls (that's a joke) but I do remember going with my mom to pick out a suit and tie. I imagine somewhere we have pictures of me all dressed up. I think I may even have borrowed some of my dad's Drakar Noir Cologne (classy eh?).

So I started as a fourth grader and went to Cotillion. Once a month on a Friday night from Fall to Spring we would go to the Masonic Temple in Whitter (Ye Friendly Towne) where Cotillion was held. All the boys would sit on one side of the room and all the girls on the other side. We would begin every session by greeting our instructor. I'm pretty sure that the boys would shake hands making good eye contact and saying "Good evening Mr. Thomas." (looking back I'm pretty sure that Mr. Thomas probably played for the other team) and once we did that we could sit down and quietly discuss that the very night before in this very same room there had been a baseball card show (When I was this age 10-11, the two most important things to me were baseball cards and Professional Wrestling) or some other quiet and reserved conversation. Then the dancing would begin.

Ms. Darcy Sue Gollatz Klapp was the head instructor. She ran a tight ship and there was absolutely no fooling around. We were terrified of her not in a mean way but in a "she's a whole lot to handle" sort of way. The boys would all line up, the girls would all line up and you would get randomly paired up thus ensuring that everyone had a partner and that the pressure was removed about having to ask someone. I think my first major crush ( it lasted for about seven years) was a girl I met at cotillion. We did the box trot, the cha cha, and I think we waltzed. I seem to think that I was an adequate dancer but not anything special. Ms. Klapp would use her castanets to get our attention and direct us.

I guess I need to set the scene a bit. There were two sessions of cotillion. One session was for the 4th and 5th graders and one for the the 6th-8th graders. So you had well over 100 kids all dressed up. The boys wore coat and tie and the girls wore a party dress. I think I pretty much started out wearing the same tie every time. It was a green one that my mom and I picked out at Nordstrom. They taught me how to tie the "Four in hand Knot" the same one I tie today. It's especially funny to think of my dad standing in front of the mirror with his glasses on as we tried to follow the instructions on how to tie a tie. Dad we've come a long way. I seem to remember that Jennifer would get a new dress each month. She'll need to confirm this.

After a bit of dance instruction we would play some sort of game, like musical chairs. I remember that we played the Cinderella game where each of the girls took off one shoe and put it on the cart. The shoes were then distributed. On one occasion Mary Kate Renouf (my stake president's daughter) hid her feet so I couldn't find her (Rude) and one time my good friend Iris Jahng (who recently sent me a face book friend request) was wearing golden shoes and we won very easily. Towards the end of the evening we would have the refreshment dance. We would get a little houre durve take the girls back to their seats and get them a drink. As we were sitting there munching away we would prepare for the final dance. Ms Klapp would select a few of the parents who were there watching to go to the back of the room and we would go down the line saying good night. Ms. Klapp would stand at the stage and remind us of the names. I am pretty sure that one time my mom and dad were among the parents. So we would dance and then get in line and say "Good night Mrs. Dorsch, good night Mr. Dorsch." It was terribly awkward.

I think cotillion was so fun, although some may argue that I didn't retain much of the stuff that I learned, the actual experience was top notch. I still love getting dressed up to go out. Just last fall I went with a few friends to a fancy Smithsonian Gala. It was fun to dress up, eat houre durves and dance a little bit. I have to think that cotillion must have played at least a small role in making me feel comfortable out there.

Eventually Jordan, Ryan, and Josh went on to be instructors and not suprisingly I have wondered exactly which team they play for. I believe that Jordan insulted the owners child and got them all fired, and Ryan got into the first of many accidents with the Tracer either before or after working at a cotillion.

I know it was a pretty random post but that is what makes Pete Chat as awesome as it is.