Arrrrrgh-Sometimes Says It Best

Good Grief...Not Again.

After a brief hiatus from blogging I am back. I've been home for the passed 10 days or so and haven't been much into blogging. My focus has been on the Angels playoff run which came to an abrupt end last night.

So here goes. I am sure all of you know what the Bat Signal is. When it is lit up the citizens of Gotham know that the Caped Crusader is needed.

Well I too have a bat signal of sorts. I and most of my friends in Washington are big fans of G-Chat. Google's instant messaging system. I like it's format and since a lot of my friends are on it is an easy way to communicate. I like to update my picture and status often. Sometimes it will be in reference to an inside joke, a funny line someone said recently, or very often in reference to how my sports teams have been playing. However there is one unmistakable status and accompanying picture and that is good old Charlie Brown. You know for sure that whenever I have Charlie Brown is my G Chat picture that something, annoying, irritating, or frustrating has occurred in my life. Sometimes by my own doing or sometimes by my associations.

Well as soon as I had the chance I changed my G-Chat picture to Charlie Brown because my beloved (and terribly frustrating) Angels lost and were eliminated from the playoffs.

Now most of you know that I am a HUGE Angels fan. I fully realize that I care too much, that my mood should not in any way be affected by a team that I have no control over. But jeez louise you invest so much in a season and when they lose in heart breaking fashion it really hurts.

When your team is mediocre this is not a big problem. When I was in junior high and high school the 49ers were consistently a good team, in the 1994 season they won the Super Bowl and made the playoff virtually every season. Then my freshman year of college, Steve Young was knocked out of the game forever and the team has been no better and much worse than mediocre since. When the team was good or reasonably good I took the losses so personally, I remember watching a game in 2003 and they lost a very winnable game at home against the Browns. I was so angry. I am the most loyal (not necessarily myopic) fan you can find but if my team loses I feel they have let me down so I will not wear there apparel the next day. They lost to a beatable Patriots team on Sunday and even though I listened to the game, I thought to myself, wow, they didn't play that bad, and went on about my day. This is how you react when your team isn't very good every win is a big bonus. Anyhow the Angels had their best regular season club in history. And with sucess comes expectations.This team was very complete, could win on the road and was fundamentally sound. Yet they lost. And it hurt...big time. In the course of just a few minutes had had gone from euphoria to desolation, all because of a game that I have zero control over and in no way has any bearing on life in the real world.

Usually when I'm sad I think, well maybe I will buy something and I will feel better I call that retail therapy something I learned from my sister Chrissi. But last night, there was nothing I could purchase, and I am not exaggerating that would have made me happy in that moment. When the winning play happened I let out a guttural roar slammed a pillow to the ground, had the desire to say many many bad words and break things. Because there were small children around the rage quickly changed to sadness and I sat there with my face in my hands wondering what went wrong? (The answer of course was the inability to drive base runners in, and close out innings)

You know what this feels like? Like getting dumped (a sensation I am all too familiar with). You know nothing you can do will change it, and it hurts and you wonder why you even bother putting the time in at all, only to be let down. Sure there were some good times (We’ll always have 2002) but you wonder was it worth it, all the anxiety they caused you? The money you spent (tickets, shirts, stuffed animals, jewelry), and the heart ache when it is over. My brother in law Don said to me “Peter, you realize you are the guy we all make fun of…the one who takes it all too seriously.” Yes I know. I am him…he is me. But as in relationships there is always a new one to look forward to. Catchers and pitchers will report, and we’ll begin again in the spring. Luckily I have the 49ers, Cougars, and Lakers as well, to root for as well as break my heart. The thing is, that when it is right and it does work out it is wonderful, I guess that’s why I keep going back.

Thank you to all who offered their sympathies.