The Sports Guy in DC

Who is Bill Simmons? He is my favorite sports writer, and either my favorite or second favorite author in general. (I'm a huge Chuck Klosterman fan). Bill writes for ESPN.com and does an awesome Podcast called the B.S. Report. I first heard about the Sports Guy from B-Rock. He told me about this guy who compared the NFL season to Top Gun. B-Rock sent me the link, and I've been hooked ever since. I have read basically everything he has written for ESPN, his first book,  listened to virtually every podcast, and pretty much consumed any media he has been a part of since 2003. I even mentioned him in a Priesthood meeting I was teaching last month.

When I heard a few weeks back that he would not only be be in Washington D.C. for a book signing but that he'd be doing it  a block from my office, well lets just say I was Jordan at a UVSC dance excited.

As Brian introduced Bill Simmons to me (B-Rock my plan was to get you a book but they said one per customer), I have made it a point to introduce him to other friends. JJ in particular is as big of a fan as I am. We knew that we would definitely be there for the midnight signing. I had my last GMAT class last night and JJ picked me up. We knew that there would be a meet and greet and then we could get the book signed. We got there and found out the meet and greet had filled up, so JJ was kind enough to drive me back to my house so I could put my Kobe gear on. You may not know that although Bill respects Kobe's abilities, he hates the Lakers and Kobe. It's to be a expected...he loves the Celtics.

There was not a lot of heterogeneity in this crowd. Nope it was almost entirely white guys ages 18-30. JJ and I fit right in. Somehow we ended up relatively close to what we thought was the front of the line.

You can't really tell from this picture, but the line goes all the way down the block. 

The powers that be were strict about the books not going on sale until midnight, so we had to wait outside for an hour before the line even began to move. There was some worry that there might not be enough books, and I must say that for a moment I was a little nervous. As we were waiting in line a woman approached me and said, I have this blog and I want to understand why people would line at midnight to meet this guy. She said I heard Bill hates Kobe, and here you are. I explained to her that although Bill and I are diametrically opposed on many sports issues ( I love the Angels, Lakers, Karl Malone, and college football, he loves the Celtics, Red Sox, and despises Karl) he sees the game from my prospective, that of a fan. And I told her that the way I wanted him to personalize my book would be indicative of that. I took my picture with her and now I'll be on some random blog as Peter - Lakers fan.

 

We called this guy Tweed Jacket. He shut the party down.

We were however favored with a bit of entertainment as it appeared that a group of High Schoolers were staying in the hotel across the street. They made all sorts of suggestive gestures, and looked to be having a great time. On young lady seemed like she was intent on giving our group a show. Needless to say, she was pretty surprised when the man in the tweed jacket showed up in her room and shut it down. He came down stairs, looked in the windows and told the kids to shut their drapes. He got a standing ovation from the line and even took a bow. Another young man was in a window and decided to moon us (pretty predictable) and a police officer shined his flash light on the window. The kid was terrified, we laughed.

It's really him, the Sports Guy himself. 

Little by little, the line moved and we got inside the ESPN ZONE. For the last few days I had been thinking about what I wanted Bill to write in my book. I wanted it to be something funny, and and a dig at Bill's views on the teams I root for. If this had been two weeks ago it would obviously have been about the Angels beating the Sox, but since the Angels didn't end up in the World Series, it didn't seem to have the same punch. I threw around some ideas with Jordan and JJ. But none of them seemed perfect.

JJ on the other hand came up with something simple and brilliant. "Tom Brady Fumbled" which anyone who is a Raider's fan will understand.

 

Finally I was able to purchase my copy of the book, and knew that I was only minutes a way from meeting one of my favorite writers. Even before I knew he was coming to town I wondered to myself what I would say to Bill if I ever met him. I love the podcasts he does about the Real World Road Rules challenge. They are among my favorites. Book in hand I actually started to get nervous. My chest was pounding. It was bizarre. JJ said he felt the same way too.

 I made the Sports Guy laugh with my request.

 And then it was my turn. And I was up on the dias and Bill is talking to me. And its his voice, the same voice I hear on the Pod Cast. I introduced myself, told him I loved his column and pod casts. And don't let anyone tell you to stop doing them. And was a big fan. I was legitimately grateful that he writes, because I really enjoy enjoy reading his work. He doesn't have to write but he does. He thanked me and asked what I wanted in the book.

I had though about something to the effect of "Last night was not your fault...not your fault." A reference to the Angels losing in the ALCS and Good Will Hunting a movie both Bill and I enjoy. I thought about making him write down that Karl Malone was in fact one of the greatest of all time. And my back up was "Sweep the leg". But none of those were really speaking to me. And then it sort of started to formulate, JJ and I worked it out, and EUREKA...I found it. I knew it was perfect. The only real question was, would he write it. Here's what Bill wrote on his blog.

If you come to one of the signings, I'm happy to write whatever you want in the book as long as it's not completely obscene and won't get me fired. Please make sure you have one relatively short sentence in mind so that we can keep the line moving.

I told Bill the situation and prefaced it by saying, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable writing it. He sort of looked it me like, "What could this guy have in mind?" I told him and he laughed. He signed it. JJ took the pictures and that was that. I was pumped.

 JJ has not and will not ever forgive the Patriots for the "Snow Game" or the Tuck Rule. And now he has it in writing...Tom Brady fumbled.

You may at this point be wondering what exactly I asked him to write. As a Lakers fan and an unabashed Kobe apologist, I knew I wanted something where Bill would admit that Kobe was awesome and there was no way around it. Forthose of you who love the Lakers, love Kobe, and love to show it to the haters that doubted, I asked Bill for a special personalization.

 

Yes, I went there. Any NBA fan will understand this reference. I thought it was brilliant and JJ agreed. Even Bill laughed when I asked him.

JJ and I said hi to Bill's friend Joe House and pled the case of Karl Malone, and then headed home the victors. JJ and I agreed that it was totally worth it, even though it was 2:00 AM by this time and we'd be going to work in just a few hours.

 In summary:

Dinner at McDonald's...$7.00

Shirley Temple at the ESPN Zone...$4.50

The Book of Basketball...$26.00

Meeting one of my favorite writers with my best friend...priceless.