When Nations Collide

Later today* the home land of my dad Germany will take on its long time rival Argentina in what should be a very epic battle on the soccer field. I was tremendously worried that USA would play Germany but that was not to be. Although I haven't spent too much time in Germany I have rooted for them in international soccer since 1990 when my dad and I watched the first World Cup I remember. Right away my favorite player was Jurgen Klinsmann, who did great things in that World Cup, where the mighty Mannschaft defeated who else but the Argentines.

When Klinsmann retired I rooted for Bierhoff, when Beirhoff retired I rooted for my man Michael Ballack, and when he was injured, I rooted for all the youngsters who have stepped up. I know Germany will win today, because as Olive Bierhoff said "You have to have cold blood, and I believe we Germans have it." The German efficiency plus Klose's ability to find the back of the goal makes me feel great about Germany's chances. Germany is probably the most consistenly good team in the world, and this time will be no different. I mean we saw what Germany did to England. I do know one person who does not agree with me.

Let me introduce you to Kennard Keeton. He started out as my favorite intern, and has become a very good friend. He has a darling wife Marlyse, and two adorable kids Miss Hadley Scout and Mr. Talon. Kenny just graduated from law school at BYU, and is studying for the bar, and one more thing...his mom in from Argentina. Like me he roots for the team that has the more passionate following. I asked Kenny to be a guest blogger, and breakdown his thoughts on this epic match up.


Without further ado, here is Kenny's reason why Argentina will win (they won't but I wanted him to have a chance to feel better about things.


At least ten reasons why Argentina will beat Germany

1. We have the best player in the world and 5 of the top 50, compared to Germany only having 3 in the top 50 and none in the top 29.

2. Messi draws so many defenders, he changes the whole game by opening up opportunities for the rest of the Argentine strikers. He will be the only player on the field who can take on 2 or 3 defenders, by himself, with any chance of success.

3. German coach Joachim Leow v. Maradona. Leow does not have his own religious following, nor is he believed to be literal deity. Maradona does and is, as evidenced by The Maradonian Church, the website Maradona is God, and the facebook group "Maradona is my God." A quick google search will show you just how large and devout his flock really is.

4. Serbia 1, Germany 0.  First group stage loss since a 2-0 defeat to Denmark in 1986. We all know what happened in 1986(Argentina defeated Germany in the world cup final).

5.  World War II. Karma. Jesus is Jewish.

6. Serbia 1, Germany 0. Only 4 shots on goal, including a missed penalty kick by Podolski. Germany has shown weakness. You can't afford weakness in the quarterfinals.

7. Anecdotal, but as evidenced by Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo(extremely good looking, but the biggest baby in professional sports) sitting on the ground for extended periods of time looking put-out, the refs have been reluctant to give out free kicks for potential dives, especially in the penalty box. This favors Argentina, who rarely, if ever, flops. Germany is notorious for falling down like they've been shot for no reason, as evidenced below.

7.5. Germany would not have won the 1990 world cup final were it not for Jurgen Klinsmann diving to send Pedro Monzon off with a red card and Rudi Voller flopping in the box to generate the penalty kick leading to the one and only goal of the match. (If you didn't watch the videos in this paragraph, watch them. Any German should be ashamed of their great soccer star Klinsmann.)

8. Argentina was more afraid of Mexico than they are of Germany. 

9. Argentina is already in the head of German players.

10. The stupid German octopus is just that, a stupid German octopus. And statistically he bats about .700, if he's 4 for 4 now, he's due to be wrong.

11. German aquarium caretakers have way too much time on their hands.

12. Four years ago, the German team needed penalty shots to dispatch an Argentina side that according to both teams is not nearly as talented as the 2010 version. (German penalty kicks in 2010 World Cup, 0 for 1. Just in case it comes to that again.)

13. The last time these two teams faced each other, earlier this year, Argentina blew Germany out 1-0. Germany was never really close to scoring, while Argentina had numerous chances. They'll bury those on Saturday when it counts.

14. Lionel Messi 2010 = Diego Maradona 1986






*I wrote this at 5:00 AM and I haven't slept yet. If it makes no sense, that is why.